Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Honeyಗವನಗಳು - 3

ದೀಪಾವಳಿ 
ಡಂ ದುಡುಂ  ಸರಪಳಿ
ಎಲ್ಲ ಕಡೆ ಹೊಗೆ, ಸದ್ದಿನ ಹಾವಳಿ
ಬೇರೆಯವರಿಗೆ ತೊಂದರೆ ಆದರೇನಂತೆ

ಇದು ನಮ್ಮ ಸ್ಟೈಲ್ ದೀಪಾವಳಿ !!


ಪ್ರೀತಿ
ಅವನು ಇಡ್ಲಿ ಸಾಂಬಾರು
ಅವಳು ಪಿಜ್ಜಾ ಬರ್ಗರು 
ಆದರೂ ಚೆನ್ನಾಗೆ ನಡೆದಿತ್ತು ಪ್ರೀತಿ. 
ಯಾವಾಗ್ ಸಂಬಾರಿಗೆ ಬರ್ಗರ್ ನೆಂಚಿಕೊಂಡು ತಿಂದನೋ 
ಆಗಲೇ ಶುರುವಾಯ್ತು ಪಜೀತಿ !!

 ವಿಶ್ವ
ಅವಳ ಕಣ್ಣು ನಕ್ಷತ್ರ,
  ಮೊಗ ಚಂದಿರ ,
  ಅವಳೇ ನನ್ನ ವಿಶ್ವ ಅನ್ಕೊಂಡಿದ್ದೆ 
ಆದರೆ ಅವಳು 
ನನ್ನನ್ನೇ ನುಂಗೋ Blackhole ಅನ್ಕೊಂಡಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ !!

ಮಳೆ
ಅವಳ ಕಣ್ಣಂಚಿನ ಮಿಂಚಿಗೆ
ಅವನ ಎದೆ ನಡುಗಿತು , ಗುಡುಗಿತು
ಆಕಾಶವೇ ಖುಷಿಯಿಂದ ಕಂಬನಿ ಸುರಿಸಿತು !

ಫಾಸ್ಟ್ ಫುಡ್ 
ಅವಳು ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಹೋದ ಬೋಂಡ ಇನ್ನು ಬಿಸಿಯಾಗಿತ್ತು. 
ಆದರೆ ಅವಳ ಫೋನ್ ಆಗಲೇ ಬ್ಯುಸಿ ಆಗಿತ್ತು ;(


ನಾನವನಲ್ಲ
ಇಲ್ಲ
ಅವಳಿಗೆ ಮೋಸ ಮಾಡಿ
ಓಡಿ ಹೋದವ ಬೇರೆಯವ,
ನಾನವನಲ್ಲ.
ನಮ್ಮಿಬ್ಬರ ಪರಿಚಯ ಈಗ ತಾನೇ ಪ್ರೀತಿಗೆ ತಿರುಗಿದೆ.
ನಾ ನವ ನಲ್ಲ !!!

Fire Brigade
ಸಿಕ್ಕಾಪಟ್ಟೆ ತಿನ್ಬಿಟ್ಟೆ ಖಾರ
ಚಾಲೆಂಜ್ ಗೆ  ಅಂತ
ಶಾಮಕ ದಳವದರನ್ನ ಕರೆಯಿಸಿ
ಆಗಿದೆ ಹೊಟ್ಟೆಯೊಳಗೆ ಅಗ್ನಿ ದುರಂತ !!

ಜೀವನ 
ಜೀವನ ಮರ್ಮ
ಅರಿಯುವಷ್ಟರಲ್ಲಿ ಕೊಳೆತು ಹೋಯಿತು ಚರ್ಮ !!

ನಾವು ಒಳ್ಳೆಯವರೇ
We ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಜಾಸ್ತಿನೇ adjust ಮಾಡಿಂಗ್
Wen U Say ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ adjust ಮಾಡಿ.
But when U ppl no adjust ಮಾಡಿಂಗ್
ಆವಾಗಲೇ ಹೇಳೋದು  ಎತ್ರಿ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಗಾಡಿ !!

ಕವಿ
ನಾನೆಂದೆ ನಾನೊಬ್ಬ ಕವಿ
I write poetry 
ಅವಳೆಂದಳು 
ಪದಗಳು ಹಾಳೆ ಮಾತ್ರ ಮುಟ್ಟುತಿದೆ
 ಮನಸನಲ್ಲ 
ನೀವು ಅದೆಂತ poetರಿ ?

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Honeyಗವನಗಳು - 2

ಬತ್ತಿ
ಆತ ಇಟ್ಟ ಬತ್ತಿ .
ನನ್ನ ಜೀವನವೇ ಉರಿಯಿತು ಹೊತ್ತಿ !!


ಹೀಗಿರಬೇಕು 
ಕಥೆ ಚಿಕ್ಕದಾಗಿರಬೇಕು
ಕವನ ಚೊಕ್ಕವಾಗಿರಬೇಕು
ಹೃದಯ ಪುಟ್ಟದಾಗಿದ್ದರೂ
ಮನಸ್ಸು ಪಕ್ವವಾಗಿರ್ಬೇಕು

ಒಂದಾದಾಗ
 (Dedicated to my fnd who got engaged after nine yrs of meeting each other)
ನಡೆದಿತ್ತು ಅವಳಿಗೂ ನನಗೂ
ಒಂಬತ್ತು ವರ್ಷಗಳ ಕಾಲ ಮಾತು !
ಒಂಬತ್ತೇ ನಿಮಿಷ ಸುಮ್ಮನಾದೆವು,
ಈಗ ಮೌನದ್ದೇ ಹುಕೂಮತ್ತು
ನಮಗಿಂದು ಅರ್ಥವಾಯಿತು
ಮನಸ್ಸು ಒಂದೇ ಆಗಿದ್ದಾಗ
ಇಲ್ಲ ಮಾತಿನ ಜರೂರತ್ತು


ಪಂಚ್ ಡೈಲಾಗ್ 
ಚಲನಚಿತ್ರದಲ್ಲಿ ಇಂಚ್ ಇಂಚಲ್ಲು ಪಂಚ್ ಡೈಲಾಗ್ ಇರಬೇಕಾಗಿಲ್ಲ, 
ಕೊಂಚ್ ಕೊಂಚ್ ವಾಗಿ ನೆಂಚ್ಕೊಲ್ಲೋಕೆ ಇದ್ರೂ ಸಾಕು :)


Communication Gap 
ಅವಳೆಂದಳು ನಾನು ನೋಡಬೇಕು ಹೂ ಬಳ್ಳಿ
ಬಸ್ಸು ಹತ್ತಿಸಿದೆ, ಕರ್ಕೊಂಡು ಹೋದೆ
ತೋರಿಸಿದೆ ಅವಳಿಗೆ ಹುಬ್ಬಳ್ಳಿ !!


ಅವಳಿ-ಜವಳಿ ! 
ಕೊಡಿಸೋಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋಗಿದ್ದ ಅವಳಿಗೆ ಜವಳಿ ,
ಕೊಟ್ಟೇಬಿಟ್ಟ  ಅವಳಿ-ಜವಳಿ !!

 ಜಸ್ವಂತಿ
ಗಿಜಿ ಗಿಜಿ ಬಜಾರಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಜಸ್ವಂತಿ
 ಕುಳಿತಿದ್ದಳು ಒಂಟಿ
ಸಂಗಾತಿಯೇನು ಬೇಕಾಗಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ ಅವಳಿಗೆ
ಬೇಕಾಗಿದ್ದು just one tea ;)

 ಒರಟನಲ್ಲ
ಮುಖ ಊದಿಸಿಕೊಂಡಳು ,
ನಾ ಕದಲಲಿಲ್ಲ ,
 ಕಣ್ಣಲ್ಲಿ ನೀರು ಕಂಡೆ
ಒರೆಸಲಿಲ್ಲ
ನಾನು ಒರಟನಲ್ಲ,
 ಅವಳು ಪಾನಿಪೂರಿ ತಿನ್ನುವಾಗ ತೊಂದರೆ ಕೊಡುವುದಿಲ್ಲ ಅಷ್ಟೇ !

Unlucky
ಹಾರುತಿತ್ತು ಹಕ್ಕಿ
ಕೊಂದ ಗುಂಡಿಕ್ಕಿ
ಗಾಡಿ ಓಡಿಸುವ techie
ಹೊಡೆದು ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಡಿಕ್ಕಿ
ಆದಳು unlucky

There was once a hunter
who wanted some fun and laughter
But he was alone
His friends were all gone
Thats why he resorted to twitter !!


 ಶುಭರಾತ್ರಿ 
ರಾತ್ರಿಯಾಯಿತು , 
ಕಣ್ಪದರಗಳು ಕಣ್ಣ ಗುಡ್ಡೆಯ ಮೇಲೆ ಸೇರಿ 
ಪರಸ್ಪರ ಮುತ್ತಿಡುವ ಕಾಲ ಬಂದಿತು. 
ನಾವ್ ಯಾಕೆ ತೊಂದರೆ ಕೊಡೋಣ? 
ಮಲ್ಕೊಳೋಣ . 
ಶುಭರಾತ್ರಿ !

ಲೈಕ್
status ಲಾಯಕ್ಕಾಗಿದ್ರೆ  likeಗಳು ಜಾಸ್ತಿ.
ಇಲ್ಲಾಂದ್ರೆ ಮೂಸೋವ್ರೂ ನಾಸ್ತಿ :)


ಮಳೆ 
The drop has reached the earth,
The glass has lost its shine,
The leaf has breathed its last
The coir has lost its spine.
But then they did not mind
To pose for this picture of mine !!

ಜೋಕೆ
ಗೆಳೆತನ ಮಾಡುವಾಗ ಇರಲಿ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಜೋಕೆ.
ಇಲ್ಲದಿದ್ದರೆ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಜೀವನವು jokeಕೆ !!

Accident Site 
ಸಹಾಯಕ್ಕೆ ಬಂದ ನಾರಿ
Selfie ತೆಗೆದು ಪರಾರಿ !!


ಭೇಟಿ
ಮತ್ತೆ ನನ್ನ ಭೇಟಿಯಾಗಬೇಡ ಎಂದವಳು
ಮತ್ತೆ ಸಿಕ್ಕಳು
ಪ್ರಪಂಚ ಚಿಕ್ಕದಾಗಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ
ಚಿಕ್ಕದಾಗಿದಿದ್ದು ಅವಳ ಪರ್ಸು :)

ಉಸಿರಾಗುವೆ ! 
ನೀ ಕಮಲವಾಗಳು ,ನಾ ಕೆಸರಾಗುವೆ
ನೀ ಎಳೆ ಎಲೆಯಾಗಳು, ನಾ ಹಸಿರಾಗುವೆ
ನೆರಳಾಗುವೆ, ಹಿಡಿದು ನಡೆಸುವ ಬೆರಳಾಗುವೆ,
ಬದುಕಿರುವ ತನಕ ನಿನ್ನ ಉಸಿರಾಗುವೆ !!

Fill in the blanks 
ಬೇಸರವಾಗಿ ದಿನ ದಿನದ ಜೀವನ ಯುದ್ಧ
ಆಗಲು ಹೊರಟಿದ್ದೆ ನಾನೂ ಬುದ್ಧ
-------- ಲೇ ಅರಿತಿದ್ದು
ಅಯ್ಯೋ ರಾಮ ನಾನೆಂತ ಪೆದ್ದ !!

ಸ್ಟೈಲು
ಮಾಡ್ರನ್ ಲೇಡಿಯಾದರೂ
ತಲೆ ತಗ್ಗಿಸಿಕೊಂಡೆ ನಡೆಯುವುದು
ಹುಡುಗಿಯರ ಸ್ಟೈಲು.
ಸಂಸ್ಕಾರ ಕೆಲವರ ಕಾರಣ
ಕೆಲವರಿಗೆ ಕಾರಣ ಮೊಬೈಲು

Bagmane Tech park
Morning morning ofc work,
ಹೋಗು Bagmane ಕಡೆಗೆ
as soon as its evening
Bhaag Mane ಕಡೆಗೆ !!


Manyata Tech Park 
ಬೆಳಗಾಗ್ತಿದ್ದಂಗೆ ಎದ್ನೋ ಬಿದ್ನೋ ಓಡು
 ತಲುಪಬೇಕು Manyata.
ಸಾಯಂಕಾಲ ಆಗ್ತಿದ್ದಂಗೆ ಎದ್ನೋ ಬಿದ್ನೋ
ಓಡು ಪ್ರಯಾಣ ಮನೆಯತ್ತ !! 

BangaloreRains
ಬಿರುಗಾಳಿ ಮಳೆ ಸುರಿಯಲು
ರಸ್ತೆಯೇ ನದಿಯಾಗಲು,
ನಾನೇ ಮೀನಾದೆ
ನೀರಲ್ಲಿ ಒಂದಾದೆ
ಈಜಿ ಮನೆ ಸೇರಿದೆ ! 

 ಇಂದ್ರ-ಚಂದ್ರ 

ಮೋಡ ಅಲ್ಲಿ ಮೂಡಿದರೆ 
ನವಿಲು ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಕುಣಿಯಿತು 
ನೀರು ನೆಲದಿ ಸುರಿಯಲು 
ಬಿಲ್ಲು ಬಾನಲಿ ಮೂಡಿತು 
ಎಲ್ಲೋ ಹೊಡೆದ ಬಾಣ 
ಯಾರದೋ ಹೋಯ್ತು ಪ್ರಾಣ 
ಇದೇ ಮಿಥ್ಯ ಜೀವನ 
ಇದೇ ಸತ್ಯ ಮರಣ

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

The Sixth Sense (Based on true story)

“So, I am sure you are a software engineer”,  he said.

I was waiting in the bus stand in my tees and Jeans with earphones plugged to my ear. No I did not have my laptop.
I smiled at the stranger and nodded my head.
He was a thin young man, with striped shirt and formal pants with a file in his hand.

“Sixth sense sir, sixth sense”, he said.

I again smiled but kept quiet.

“Don’t you wish you too should have got sixth sense like me”, he said.

I got a bit irritated.
“Look sir”, I said “I have already got an insurance policy and would not buy it from you”


He left in a huff, mumbling under his breath, without turning back.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Honeyಗವನಗಳು

ಸನಿಹ
ಅವಳು ನನ್ನೆಡೆ ಬಂದಾಗ 
ಕುಣಿದು ಕುಣಿದು ಎಬ್ಬಿಸಿದೆ ಧೂಳು,
ಆದರೆ ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಹೋದಾಗ
ಕಣ್ಣೀರಿಂದ ನಿಂತಲ್ಲೇ swimming poolಉ 


ಟ್ರಾಫಿಕ್ ಜಾಮ್
( ಸರ್ವಜ್ಞರವರ ಕ್ಷಮೆ ಕೋರುತ್ತ...)
ಭೋರ್ಗರೆಯುವ ಮಳೆಯಿರಲು,
ರಸ್ತೆ ಕೊಚ್ಚೆ ರಾಡಿಯಾಗಿರಲು,
ಟ್ರಾಫಿಕ್ ಜಾಮಲ್ಲಿ ಸಿಕ್ಕಿ ಹಾಕಿಕೊಂಡರೆ
ನರಕಕ್ಕೆ ಕಿಚ್ಚು ಹಚ್ಚೆಂದ ಅಲ್ಪಜ್ಞ್ಯ  



ಬಡವ
ಉಳ್ಳವರು bikeಅಲ್ಲಿ ಹೊರಟರು ,
 ನಾನೇನು ಮಾಡಲಿ ಬಡವನಯ್ಯ
ಎನಗೆ ಕಾಲೇ ಚಕ್ರ , Cabಗಳೇ ರಥ ,
 BMTC ನೆ  ಪುಷ್ಪಕವಿಮಾನವಯ್ಯ !!



ಬೆಳಕು
ಅವಳನ್ನು ನನ್ನ ನೆರಳಿನಡಿಯಲ್ಲೇ ಕಾಪಾಡಬೇಕು ಅಂತ ಇದ್ದೆ. 
ಆಗಲಿಲ್ಲ.
 ಅವಳೇ ಬೆಳಕಾಗಿದ್ದಳು !!


ಕಣ್ಣು

ಅವಳನ್ನು ನೋಡಿದಾಕ್ಷಣ ಮಂಜುಗಡ್ಡೆಯಾದೆ ,
 ಕರಗಿದ್ದು ಅವಳ ಕೆಂಗಣ್ಣಿಗೆ ಗುರಿಯಾದಾಗಲೇ


ಮತದಾನ

ಮುಡಿಗೆ ಏರಿಸಲು ಮಲ್ಲಿಗೆಗೆ ಮತ ಹಾಕುವುದರ ಬದಲು ಕಮಲಕ್ಕೆ ಹಾಕಬೇಕಾಗಿತ್ತು ಅಂದೆ.
ಅವಳು ಕಾಂಗ್ರೆಸ್ ಅನ್ನೇ ಹಾಕಿದಳು .
ನನ್ನ ಕೆನ್ನೆ ಮೇಲೆ  :)


ಮದುವೆ

ಈಗಲೇ ಮದುವೆ ಬೇಡ 
ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ತಾಳಿ , ಭಾಗ್ಯ
ಶೀಘ್ರದಲ್ಲೇ ಬರಲಿದೆ 
ಸರ್ಕಾರದಿಂದ ತಾಳಿಭಾಗ್ಯ !! 

ವರದಕ್ಷಿಣೆ

ಅವಳೇನೋ ಪುಟ್ಟ ಗೌರಿ 
ಆದರೆ ಅವಳ ಮದುವೆಗೂ ಕೊಡಬೇಕಾಯಿತು
Dowry !!

ಎಲೆ

ಬಾಳೆ ಎಲೆ ಹಾಕುವಾಗ ನೋಡಿದ ಎಳೆ ಬಾಲೆಗೆ ನಾ ಶರಣಾದೆ !!



Thursday, April 24, 2014

Traffic Police and Fatherhood

ಯಮನಿಂದ ತಪ್ಪಿಸಿಕೊಂಡರು ಮಾಮನಿಂದ ತಪ್ಪಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳೋಕೆ ಆಗೋಲ್ಲ !!
(You can escape from Yama but not from Mama {police})

                            And on that fateful day, I was stopped by the traffic police. No, this time he was not hiding in some out-of-sight area to appear suddenly nor was that a deadline wala time for policemen. I slowed down, while my brain was working overtime to figure out which traffic rule I had broken.

Not wearing seatbelt!!!  No... I wasn’t in my car.
Not wearing helmet!!! No, I wasn’t on my bike too!!
Speeding?? No. Was slower than a passerby walking.
No license? NO NO NO... I was on my cycle!!
Then what??

I stopped beside him. He seemed busy easing traffic and asked me to wait. After what seemed like a decade, he comes slowly to me and says
“Nice Cycle”
“Thanks”
“Kids nowadays!!”
(Me rolling eyes, with a puzzled look)
“Gear gaadi naa?? “ (With gear?)
“Yes (proudly), 18 of them!!” (Though never used more than 3, ever)
“Cost??”
“Rs 8500/-“
“What?? So much of this piece of iron??”
(I stood there, clutching my hands, like a hero who is ready to hit a villain stands, refraining himself from hitting him, just because he has promised his mom)
“And your father happily bought it for you?? “
“Well, I bought it myself, with my own money, I do a job”

Suddenly his tone turned softer
“Oh really, good, Sorry for my remarks. It was not meant for you... It was my anger towards my son”
I felt good and bad at the same time. But it was not time for emotions. I wanted to know why I was stopped and how much “fine” he was expecting.

“What about him?" I enquired
“Well he wants me to buy him a cycle and you know our salary. I cannot afford a Rs.8000 wala . Also its dangerous cycling is traffic."

Now again I felt good and bad at the same time. But this time there time for emotions. I knew why I was stopped: to enquire about cycles.
Felt good as I was not to be fined that day. Die another day ;)
Felt bad as he was a bit helpless in this case.

“Why not buy him a low end cycle, without gears, it works out cheaper” I told
“That’s what I was thinking of, but you see I get bonus after 3 months only. Only then I can buy him one. Till then I don’t know how to face him?”
“What does he study? “
“8th Std, many of his friends have it. So he wants one.”
He came towards me and whispered.” Keeps murmuring about his first love, So I think this is only for show off.. to her”
“Err, hmm.. “, I did not know how to respond.

I analysed the issue.
8th std boy with a friend who is a girl.. First love.
Boy wants a cycle. NOW
Father can afford one three months later but is not able to convince his son to wait. Also he is worried about that “love”

‘What are you thinking?” he asked
“How much does he score in exams??”
“Around 60-65% . Why?"
“And how much he desires to own a cycle?”
“He never stops talking about it!! Would you please tell why you need this information?”
“Good. I think I have a plan. His exams will be in two months and results will be out in around three months. If you promise him to get a cycle if he scores 70% , there are many benefits.
  1. You are not telling him you won’t buy one but now the ball will be in his court to “earn” it
  2. Good marks are always good.
  3. You get three months’ time.
  4. And whatever marks he gets, since you were going to buy it anyways, buy it then.He will be thrilled.


100% WIN WIN situation. I patted my back for this genius idea!!  I was just born to help people !!

His face bloomed.
“Brilliant !!!" he said .
 He looked relieved.”That will keep him away from his love too.. atleast for three months!”
Thanks.
All this time people who were riding, driving, cycling, walking who had seen me talking to him must have been sympathizing me for getting caught. They would never know it was me who was sympathizing about the police.

Four Months Later:

                          I had forgotten about the incident until I saw the same Traffic police again. I was curious to know the outcome of my cunning plan. I stopped near him.He seemed disinterested.
I asked him about his son’s result.
“78 % “ he said, without looking at me.
I sensed trouble. But when curiosity killed the cat, would it leave me??
I asked... as I was riding away from him, slowly
“And what about cycle and first love”

“Well it turned out to be that the cycle itself was his FIRST LOVE and he worked so much for it that he got 78%, the highest percentage gain ever in his class.”
“Wow “, I was amused, “Then what’s your problem?”
And I left as he said this which made me feel good and bad at the same time.
“To encourage his effort on his percentage leap, school awarded him Rs: 5000/- . He bought a cycle for himself with it.”
And then finished his answer with a sad face.
“You just robbed me one of the most important joys of fatherhood, gifting his son his first bicycle!!”

Monday, April 21, 2014

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Being a celebrity

                      When Usha Uthup stepped out of the mall and fans flocked to get her autograph and a photo with her, we were not surprised. It is one of the perks you get being a celebrity: Being recognized and appreciated in public. It must surely be a good feeling. Even we took a group photo, with her, of course.




                           But that is not the point . The point was she surely must have felt good. Elated.May be more thrilled than us to be getting such recognition in public.One of my friends wanted to check that out. To get the first hand feel of what it feels being mobbed by fans while onlookers watch. We decided to experiment it there.

                              The plan was simple. Go alone inside the mall. Come out casually. We, the team-mates now converted to his fans would rush to him, excited, meet him, shake hands with him ask for autographs and then finally take a picture with him.

And we did it..

Check this below media.The one in the checks shirt is our hero !!



















The experiment was a success. We did manage to grab a few eyeballs who kept wondering and making wild guesses as to who the “celebrity” was.

The hero exclaimed, “Even though I knew you people and knew it was staged, I felt sooooooo good. I can now imagine the feel we get for pure, unpaid fan following!!”

Friday, January 31, 2014

Chemical Locha

                            We have heard examples of how the solution to find benzene ring  chemical formula was found in a dream. But unfortunately that did not happen to me. The solution did not occur. What happened was that the problem itself manifested in my dream yesterday and this is how it happened.

Background :
                         I have been working on this memory leak issue from quite some time  and was on the verge of concluding that there is no leak as per the memory leak report. A portion of it is still pending and was to be done today.


Dream :

I was walking near the gate of Lumbini gardens to check if people really pay to get into this deserted looking lake-park when a familiar guy comes walking towards me.
I know I have seen him somewhere but cannot recall where !!

MysteryMan   : Hi

Me :    Hi , Do I know you  ?

MysteryMan : (smiling) Of course yeah, You still did not recognise me , did you ?

Me :Hmm Yeah, sorry for that.

MysteryMan :Dude, it’s me , Memory Leak , remember.

Me :OMG, MemoryLeak , it’s you ?? !! I have been looking for you all these days. Where had you been?

MysteryMan :Really? You really  believed  that  I existed ?

Me :Err,..ahem.. Honestly no. I thought people were lying about your existence.

MysteryMan :But you had seen my photographs , didn’t you ?? SyVe gave it to you.

Me :Yeah that’s true, but photos could be anyone. I searched your passport records, school records, Aadhar card records , Electoral ID records and no your name was not there in any of them.

MysteryMan : Well , even then, here I am.

Me :Yes, that’s the surprising part. Anyways ,past is past, . Glad that you showed up. Now I can stay in peace.

MysteryMan : Hold on, Mr. Senior Folk ,Hold on. I just came in front of you to show that I existed so that you do not give up the search for me. Now that you know I exist ... Catch me if you can !!



Reality:
My exact  state now :

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for release blocker, I can tell you I don't have that option. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you show up  now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will solve you.

Monday, September 2, 2013

The Vada-Pav Chronicles

Lokhandwala Complex, Kandivili (E) Mumbai.
There was only ONE vada-pav centre for the entire Lokhandwala Complex ,Kandivili (E) apartments!!

                It was quite a regular practice by now. Wake up late every Sunday morning at around 10 AM; get ready for breakfast and dash to our favorite vada-pav centre near the complex next to our building. It was not a proper shop but just a corner where family of husband and wife would sell Vada-pav and tea.
Priced at around Rs 2.50 per vada-pav, we would hog around six to seven at a time, drink ginger tea and then return to our rooms. It was neither very special nor had any attractive ingredients. Just some chutney powder and mirchi to go with it. But somehow we were addicted to it.

                Another interesting thing was though they were husband and wife, at business, they were more like two separate entities, the husband selling only tea and wife the vadapav. Even the money had to be given separately. It only worked well for them being at the same place as the food complemented each other very well, just like them.
    
            It was not only us; this shop had a huge fan base. People would eat four-five and take another set “parcel “(No, I won’t use the word “Take away”. Its parcel only). All was well until…

           Until a competitor rose, right opposite to their shop (thela, as we call it). The competitor had the same business strategy. Vada-pav and tea.  And consumers love variety and choices. Slowly the fan base began to dwindle.  It looked as if the new shop was facebook and theirs was orkut.  Everyone suddenly wanted to try this new shop. It was flooded with customers while our Jodi had very little customers. It seemed everything was over for them. But for some reason they neither complained nor seemed agitated. They just kept serving whoever came to them.

                This went on for a while. Slowly people started missing the earlier taste they were addicted to. The customers started returning. I was one of the first to come back. The new vada-pav was good but could not beat the taste of the old one.  The competitor was not facebook J . The reversal was so much that now, again, the Jodi’s shop was again full while the competitor had time to watch a movie between two customers.

And then the Jodi lived happily ever after. OR did they.

No

                No one calls the competitor a competitor if he does not compete.So now our competitor was back with a bang, new, improved, better than everyone. And this time, it was not only Vada Pav. It was more. Samosa, Kocher, Dabeli, Missal pav, this and that. Basically he had everything to attract everyone.  The tide changed it direction again.

         If someone made time shorter, it would have looked like a tennis match where the tennis ball named customers went from this side of the net to other.

In your face, Vada-pav Jodi, in your face, you one trick pony!!

Suddenly from nowhere I could hear CEOs of Apple, Nokia, Microsoft and Samsung arguing loudly.

                 Word of mouth spread, more people started flocking there. Apun ka to kya hai, Jaha variety hai vahich apun. Every Sunday a different snack. From that shop, if you had a look at the Jodi you could see that this time they looked very angry, very agitated. It looked as if they would burn the competitor's shop just by the look of their eyes. The faces were distorted with jealousy.

It was about time, to make their next move.

               Just out of curiosity, one fine day, I went to the Jodi shop to see what their next strategy is. After the initial discussion I came to know that they were not at all angry at their competitor. ( all what I had thought  that they looked agitated was just in my mind). They calmly said that they had been in this business for years and vada pav was the one thing they were good at. They neither had the resources nor the expertise. But what they had was immense knowledge on how this business works.
They said that, the cost at which he was giving the snacks was not giving him enough profits. He was trying to attract customers first inspite of the losses. Sooner or later, he would either have to increase prices or reduce quality both of which would reduce his customers. And again, it had happened once, that the customers started missing her vada-pav and she was sure that they would return.
Moreover they were preparing less quantity nowadays and nothing was going waste.  Also that they were still making profits, though reduced by a great margin but never went to loss.

Small budget movies that made it big were clapping

Her strategy was simple. Continue whatever they were doing and wait for the competitor to stumble.
In exactly one month, the Jodi had made Nostradamus proud. The perseverance, quality they had set and customer retention had worked.I now knew why people call all Almirah's Godrej , All headache balms : Amrutanjan and all photocopiers Xerox machine :)

There was still only ONE vada-pav centre for the entire Lokhandwala Complex ,Kandivili (E) apartments!!




Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Honey-ಗವನಗಳು

ಬೆಳೆ- ಬೆಲೆ

ಕಿತ್ತು ತರಲೆ ನಕ್ಷತ್ರವನ್ನು ,

ಮುರಿದು ತರಲೆ ಕಾಮನಬಿಲ್ಲಿನ ಬಳ್ಳಿ ?
ಅದ್ಯಾವದು ಬೇಡ .
ಸಾಕು ನನಗೆ ಎರಡು ಕೆ.ಜಿ. ಈರುಳ್ಳಿ !!




 ಅಡುಗೆ 
They asked me , what do you prefer
Continental or Thai food ?
I replied , neither
For me, only ತಾಯಿ ಅಡುಗೆ is good !! 



Bhaag Developer Bhaag
Oye Dev-Syve sab so ray honge
Customer sab ro ray honge
Aisi bug escalated bug rakh dil pe haath
Hum sath sath bolo kya karenge
Meeting karenge.. Meeting karenge.. Meeting karenge..
Meeting karenge.. Meeting karenge.. Meeting karenge..


ಊಟ
ನಾ ಕೇಳಿದೆ ಆ ಹುಡುಗಿಗೆ ,
ಬಾಲೆ ಎಲ್ಲಿ ಊಟ ?
ಆಕೆ ಹೇಳಿದಳು ,ಹೋಗೋಣ ನಾವು
ಎಲ್ಲಿ ಸಿಗುತ್ತದೋ ಅಲ್ಲಿ 
ಬಾಳೆ ಎಲೆ ಊಟ


Happy Women's Day
ಆಫೀಸಲ್ಲಿ ನೋಡಿ ನೋಡಿ ಬೋರಾಗಿತ್ತು,
ಅದೇ ಚಹರೆ ಅದೇ ಮೋರೆ. 
ಆದರೆ ಇವತ್ತು ಯಾಕೋ ವಿಷಯಾನೇ ಬೇರೆ
Did you ask क्यों रे ?
क्योंकि 
ಇಂದು ಕಣ್ಣು ಹಾಯಿಸಿದಲೆಲ್ಲ ಕಾಣಿಸುತಿದ್ಧಾಳೆ 
ಸೀರೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ನೀರೆ ..