Friday, December 16, 2011

The Astrologer

It’s not everyday you meet an astrologer right at your doorstep. I remember that during my childhood I had seen some astrologers,locally called  as “bud Budike” used to appear at dawn and impress us by telling all our family history and then instill fear about the future, give some false solutions to get out of it and go away after our purse was considerably light. But that was some 20 years ago.I meant, in recent times, its not  everyday you meet an astrologer right at your doorstep.

So here he was, as holy as ever, with that enchanting serene smile, right at my doorstep. It was early in the morning with not much people on the road except the milk and the paper boys and other health conscious people walking or jogging and making good sleepers like us jealous.Even though I generally do not entertain Sadhus, this one looked different. He had a different aura  and I felt there was something divine about him.

He smiled at me and said

“By looking at your face , I can say your name starts with the letter P or I.”

I doubted that someone must have told him my name , but since I had recently shifted my house , none in this area knew my name.So his guess was based on pure chance I thought. But then it had a one in 26 chances to be right.So to get more information I needed to accept this.

“Yes , My name is Ikshvaku.How did you know?”, I asked.

“That’s written on your face my child” , he replied nonchalantly.

Oh my God, did someone tattoo my name on my face when I was asleep last night? Hangover  style ? This crude thought was ruled out as I was alone that night and I don't drink.

“And looking at it , I can even say you must have 2 siblings”

Now this was getting interesting.

“Yes !! One brother and a sister “ , I exclaimed , unable to contain my excitement.

That he must be observing our house to find this out was ruled out as my sister worked in Pune and had not yet been to this new house.

         “ What else is written on my face ?” I asked ( hoping that the writing was legible enough for him to read without any difficulty ).

  He just smiled. I could almost see the Halo around his head.I just waited to see what else he knew about me !!

I desperately hoped that he does not ask me to show my palm.Now that would be very bland and every other astrologer on the footpath could do it.And my wish was granted. He gave me a chalk and asked to draw anything that came to my mind at that instant.

I drew a map of India.( Ok Ok, don't get senti .wipe your tears and continue reading).

He said “ By the direction you started drawing , I can infer that your office in the North from here”

This time I was totally impressed.I told him he was right again.

“It also tells me you were born at a place with is in the North direction from this place.”

Bingo !!

He studied my drawing for 2 minutes and said he can say more but will need some baksheesh (tips) for his talent.

I was not yet convinced that he had superhuman knowledge to be able to guess everything correct about me but I surely wanted to find out.

I paid him what he wanted to and the next 2-3 minutes was unbelievable.

He guessed my age, my hobbies , the kind of books I might like and the kind of movies I enjoy .Everything he told was bang on.

Now I could not deny that I was super impressed with him. I asked him the secret of his wisdom and he just smiled and started to leave

As a mark of respect for his talent, I gave him couple of bucks more.

He said, “ I don't accept money for something which I have not done. So I will take this opportunity and tell you one more fact about you. You have exactly 494 friends right now” Saying this he left.

It was after this I changed my facebook privacy settings from pubic to private !!


  1. Are you Serious?????????????? What a fabulous one... I was enjoyed reading every bit of it... I think its time u print these stories... they are too good... and this will help u earn that extra buck you are losing out on...thanks to ur manager...

  2. Too good Ikshvaku..especially the ending

  3. too good Ikshvaku.. especially the ending

  4. Yet another hilarious writing maga :) enjoyed it :)

  5. OMG... You must write a book now... You are too good

  6. OMG... Genius, you have a spl way to convey things, write a book

  7. Impressive one Nelli...liked every bit of it and the humor in it.
    Saint's last statement told everything :-)

  8. thumba channagide... maja banthu.......

  9. Nice one nelli :) perhaps we should commission you to write a novel :)

  10. It was awesome reading this all over again :-) I really love this blog of urs