Sunday, September 19, 2010

No matter how you hide... I'll find you if I'm wanting to

Time :
Melbourne : 11:30 PM
Bangalore : 07:00 PM

Meaning: Offically office hours are over in both the cities.

Still why take a risk.
Mobile kept in an "out of coverage area "
( The corner where the signal is really weak) : Done
Sent an status mail
( To communicate that my work of that day is over ) : Done
Log out of official chat : Done
Log out of gtalk : Done
Go to invisible mode in gmail chat wigdet : Done
Logout of skype (used to call my team in India) : Done
Check and close if I hv enabled yahoo messenger
(which I enable only to chat with my cousin) : Done

Now that I have closed all doors of communication, I can watch my favourite movie online !!! Without any disturbance.

Ting ..

Whats that

Oh facebook chat !!! Forgot to close that !!!
Oh Wait .. Its Radheshyam Chattopadhyaya,my harmless team mate. He will usually goes home at 5:45. Perhaps logged in from home to say hi.

RC: Hi wazzup
Me : Mast. U?
RC : Fine.Need some help, are U free now?
Me : Of course I am !! Anything for you !! I am a samaaj sevak you know !!
RC : Hi Praveen, Its XYZD here. There is bug #420 raised against you.Can you look into it

For your information, XYZD is my manager

Me : But I am onsite here, not even in office network.Cant anyone else look into it?
RC : (now XYZD ) No ,you have been working on the module all along.Its very critical.Please check it.It should be easy.
Me : But its 11:30 out here.
RC : (now XYZD ) I understand..but its kind of blocker here. If you do it ,it might be faster.Can you please help me out this time.I am counting on you.
Me : Hmm Ok ,I will login again and look into it.
RC : (now XYZD )Thanks a ton...In advance.Will be hoping for a positive mail tomm morning. Take care.

And now I am working on that bug at 11:45PM , 9000 kms away from where I should have actually be doing it, inspite of all

the meticulous planning, all thanks to the "Social Networking sites" !!!

And far in the background I hear someone sing : No matter how you hide... I'll find you if I'm wanting to

Disclaimer: The character and incidents portrayed and the names herein are fictional and any similarity to the name, character and history of any person, living ,in the team or otherwise is entirely co-incidental

Monday, September 13, 2010

Desire is the root of all evil

It’s not everyday that you get invited to a party. So when my mailbox smiled with an invitation mail "You have been invited to the Gala Dinner this Friday evening”, I was ecstatic.

Wow!! I thought. What an opportunity to party around in a foreign land. That too at company's cost. Was it going to be better than this?

I printed out the invitation and left office early to spend some extra time preening myself .I opened my suitcase to bring out my special pair of jeans and t-shirt packed specifically for this type of events. Just to make sure the location and timings I glanced at the invitation and what I saw in fineprint burst my balloon of excitement.

It read: Dress code: Men -Lounge Suits"


A party in a 3 piece Suit?? And a tie?? Where was I going? To a Nobel prize award ceremony??

And to add to the woes. I did not have one :)

Now that my flight of excitement had made a crash landing, I crashed on my sofa giving up all hopes of going to the party. I remembered the fox and the crane story and secretly wished I invite some Australian to India for a party and make it mandatory to wear Sherwani.

To kill time which was in plenty by now , I picked up the daily newspaper and on a whim opened to see the horoscope which could explain my bad state now. But it had a different message to tell

"Don’t let the fear of failure stop you from doing things you really want to do. Be inspired by this statement - I don’t regret a thing I have done. I only regret the things I didn’t do"

Wonderful I thought!! What a time to get this message. It was true that I really wanted to go to that party and was also true that I would regret not going to...To hell with blazers I thought. I wanted to go to the gala and come what may I would be going :)

The event was scheduled to start at 7 PM, so according to IST , I mentally made a note to reach at 7:30. And the punctuality king that I am, I reached sharp at 7:30 only to realize that I was late by half an hour. As scheduled the party had indeed started at 7:00.As I entered the room, I was greeted by a room full of Suit wearing impeccable “James Bonds" and I was the only odd man in the whole party not wearing a suit. It looked like I had entered a world of Matrix and surrounded by "Agent Smiths ".Not that any of them made me feel uncomfortable though.

But my woes had just started. I was informed that I had missed my starters as I was late. This was more irritating than I thought. Any party I attend is for the starters only. I relish them the most and what did they mean that I missed them just because I came late by just 30 minutes. My colleagues pushed the events of the day list to me. As a matter if fact the dinner night was a much planned affair.

1. Welcome drink

2. Welcome Speech

3. Starters

4. <>

5. Main course

6 <>

7 Dessert


Grrrrreat, So I missed my much loved starters and am sitting in a room with complete strangers wearing odd dress for the event. What next??

By now, I had found out that nothing interesting would happen in the party given the formal arrangement made. No hungama was going to happen in midst of these well behaved gentlemen.

The event 1 started with a standup comedian .He was told to be the most loved face in Australian television for his comedy and there was a roar of applause when he entered.

Now I thought there was some life to the party only to realize I was really an odd person who did not understand any of the jokes due to his accent and the local context .I ended up giving fake laughs while others were laughing their hearts out. I knew when to laugh as he thankfully paused after each punch to give people like us some chance to mingle with the crowd.

That is it, I decided to go with the flow, just wait for the food, finish it and escape.

The other good reason I actually go to company parties is the variety of non-vegetation dishes they provide. So I got ready for the sumptuous meal that was on the way.

And it came. In front of me was a main course having Bread, French fries,,fish,shrimps,octopus,beef, ham etc etc

Hey wait a minute.

I could not eat any of these. Not even French fries with beef on the same plate.

Damn it!!! I asked for some chicken dishes but to my dismay the only other option was a vegetarian meal. With no other option I nodded my poor little sad faced head and out came a sad looking plate with I -don’t-know-what-it-was-but-tasted awful dish.

I started cursing the person who wrote that horoscope in that day's morning newspaper and indirectly was the reason for me being here L

Buddha smiled: “Desire is the root of all evil “

Now it was time for some rock and roll. There was still some hope left.

I remembered all out previous parties in India where this dance round was the most fun-filled event with almost everyone dancing to the heavy beat filled bollywood numbers ,each competing to invent the weirdest step that is bound to spread around with everyone in their own small group dancing the same step .Or at least die trying.

I did not expect the same here though and this time I had hit the bulls-eye this time.

It was not time for rock and roll but was time for some soft romantic music and couples started swaying to perform corporate party dance and I started reaching my breaking point.

Fortunately along came the desserts to put an end to that pathetic no drama dance event and to my trauma.

Just as I put the last bite of that exquisite pastry in my mouth, I got up to leave... to put an end to my serious of unfortunate incidents.....vowing never to attend a party which says --> Dress code: Men -Lounge Suits"