Friday, December 16, 2011

The Astrologer

It’s not everyday you meet an astrologer right at your doorstep. I remember that during my childhood I had seen some astrologers,locally called  as “bud Budike” used to appear at dawn and impress us by telling all our family history and then instill fear about the future, give some false solutions to get out of it and go away after our purse was considerably light. But that was some 20 years ago.I meant, in recent times, its not  everyday you meet an astrologer right at your doorstep.

So here he was, as holy as ever, with that enchanting serene smile, right at my doorstep. It was early in the morning with not much people on the road except the milk and the paper boys and other health conscious people walking or jogging and making good sleepers like us jealous.Even though I generally do not entertain Sadhus, this one looked different. He had a different aura  and I felt there was something divine about him.

He smiled at me and said

“By looking at your face , I can say your name starts with the letter P or I.”

I doubted that someone must have told him my name , but since I had recently shifted my house , none in this area knew my name.So his guess was based on pure chance I thought. But then it had a one in 26 chances to be right.So to get more information I needed to accept this.

“Yes , My name is Ikshvaku.How did you know?”, I asked.

“That’s written on your face my child” , he replied nonchalantly.

Oh my God, did someone tattoo my name on my face when I was asleep last night? Hangover  style ? This crude thought was ruled out as I was alone that night and I don't drink.

“And looking at it , I can even say you must have 2 siblings”

Now this was getting interesting.

“Yes !! One brother and a sister “ , I exclaimed , unable to contain my excitement.

That he must be observing our house to find this out was ruled out as my sister worked in Pune and had not yet been to this new house.

         “ What else is written on my face ?” I asked ( hoping that the writing was legible enough for him to read without any difficulty ).

  He just smiled. I could almost see the Halo around his head.I just waited to see what else he knew about me !!

I desperately hoped that he does not ask me to show my palm.Now that would be very bland and every other astrologer on the footpath could do it.And my wish was granted. He gave me a chalk and asked to draw anything that came to my mind at that instant.

I drew a map of India.( Ok Ok, don't get senti .wipe your tears and continue reading).

He said “ By the direction you started drawing , I can infer that your office in the North from here”

This time I was totally impressed.I told him he was right again.

“It also tells me you were born at a place with is in the North direction from this place.”

Bingo !!

He studied my drawing for 2 minutes and said he can say more but will need some baksheesh (tips) for his talent.

I was not yet convinced that he had superhuman knowledge to be able to guess everything correct about me but I surely wanted to find out.

I paid him what he wanted to and the next 2-3 minutes was unbelievable.

He guessed my age, my hobbies , the kind of books I might like and the kind of movies I enjoy .Everything he told was bang on.

Now I could not deny that I was super impressed with him. I asked him the secret of his wisdom and he just smiled and started to leave

As a mark of respect for his talent, I gave him couple of bucks more.

He said, “ I don't accept money for something which I have not done. So I will take this opportunity and tell you one more fact about you. You have exactly 494 friends right now” Saying this he left.

It was after this I changed my facebook privacy settings from pubic to private !!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

The lost mobile complication


Found a mobile (Samsung Galaxy) in meeting room Utkarsh. It’s at WS-420. Please collect it in case it’s yours.



Screamed a mail in my mailbox.
Opening the same , I found it was sent to the whole mailing list. When you are in office doing the monotonous work, like robots, anything which distracts you is welcome.
So reading the mail, everyone who was acting as if they were very busy in their work, seizing the opportunity made a beeline to workstation WS-420.
Not that everyone was particularly interested in trying to find out the actual owner. Some thought it was a welcome break. Some felt it was a nice opportunity to talk to Goodguggu (she was a fresher) while others wanted to see which model the phone is.

Now that everyone reached WS-420 and found that the phone was not locked and hence could check its features .The gizmo freaks got at work. 2-3 levels of angry birds were completed, all features were scanned and review was completed. It was accepted by everyone that no one will check the photos/videos .So there was nothing else to do except one thing.
Yes, you guessed it right. Return the mobile to its rightful owner.

Being a professional team that we are, we started brainstorming how this could we achieve this arduous task.
After brainstorming for a good 3 min and 8 seconds, these were the options:
a)     Submit to the “lost and found” section.
b)   Send the mail to a larger group.
c)     Wait for the owner to call.
d)   Write on the Utkarsh  meeting room whiteboard about the whereabouts of the mobile.
e)   Other silly solutions given by team mates to get the girls to giggle and impress them ;)

And while they were contemplating on which is the best solution, there was a employee working hard at his desk trying to question the very existence of a “if loop” in some part of the code. He was
Yes, you are right again this time. God, you are getting good at this.
Yes it was me. As I mentioned only the “actors” were at WS-420, not the hard workers.

As is the case always after everyone puts their thoughts and brainstorm for the time equal to the lifespan of mayfly, I come up with a super supreme epic idea that just forces other ideas to go into exile.

So here was I, slowly raising my head , adjusting my eyeglasses and suggesting:
“Why don’t you call some person in the contact list and ask them whose mobile is this. Then you can find that person in our intranet and just give it to him at his desk?”
(Ok Ok, I know you did not get how I was sure that it was “his” mobile and not “hers” , well no female worth her salt can stay away from mobile for more than 18 seconds as confirmed by the International Mobile User Survey -2011. So I was sure this was a guy who yet did not have a girlfriend.)

The laptops bowed in honor of my suggestion. The mobiles beeped in glee.

Now the mobile returners set on another arduous journey of whom to call:


They voted on whom to call. I voted for Devrat.
No special reason. I just thought Devrat= =Dev+ Rat == God’s mouse.
Since our laptop mouse always points to what we want, I thought the Gods mouse will redirect us to whom we want.
 But this time the team neglected my proposal and selected Amma.

The rest of the story shows its consequences.

Goodguggu: “Hello”
Amma:  “Hello”
Goodguggu:” Well... Err. Actually I am Goodguggu  from Pehlaj IT solutions. I got this mobile in a meeting room in our office .Do you know whom does this mobile belong to??”
Amma: (Panicking already) : ”  Mama giya sathiye ekak baluwa?”
Goodguggu: “Aunty , English? Hindi? Kannada ? mobile owner who ?”
Amma (panicking*2) : “Monawada thibuna pashna?”
Goodguggu:” Aunty, mobile whose, kiska, yaardu mobile?”
Amma : “Mobile Taraksh kumar”
Goodguggu:”Do you know which team does he work in ?? SCP or MSI ??
( This was the point when the whole office clapped in praise of her million dollar question )

Amma fainted.

But she had left enough clues to nail the killer.
The special task force went in search of Taraksh in the other wing.

In the mean time “Appa” called 3 times but no one dared to receive.

Taraksh came, got his mobile, thanked profusely and went.

Yet another job well done by the team who is always on the hunt for serving others better.

Now they were back to work.

Far away in the lobby we could hear this conversation between Taraksh and his Amma which confirmed by belief that Goodguggu had to call Devrat instead of Amma.

Taraksh: No Amma, I promise I don’t know who is Goodguggu  .
Amma (on phone): Blah blah blah blah.
Taraksh: No I did not give it to her. I forgot it in a meeting room.
Amma (on phone): Blah blah blah blah.
Taraksh: No not meeting her.. Meeting room. Office meeting.
Amma (on phone): Blah blah blah blah.
Taraksh: No she is not my team mate.Infact I had never noticed her till today.
Amma (on phone): Blah blah blah blah.
Taraksh : OK I will take care that I don’t misplace my mobile and also see to that if I misplace it , it should not be found by a girl !!!!!

And then Taraksh barged in to cubicle 420 and politely requested to Goodguggu:
“If you ever find a mobile anywhere in the world, please do not call the mobile owner's mom!!!”