Friday, January 23, 2009

In the midst of Page-3 personalities

Wow , what a relief! I am just out of the cab and walking home.After a long time I had missed my 6:15 cab and had inevitably taken the next cab and boy, what a eyeopening,ear-shattering journey it was.

Before you start getting curious let me tell you what happened.I sat beside the driver and the cab (other than me and the driver) was filled with aliens from venus i.e creatures from the female species.And as usual ,they started gossiping.I was not surprised by this as I had been tormented like this from the aliens before*.So knowing that nothing useful will come out of this I took out my ear saviour:- The mobile earphones ,and started listening to music.The driver must have felt the same as he too switched the radio on.As time went by,the decibel levels from the aliens started to increase.That I was travelling through the notoriously traffic infected airport road did not help either.And with that much volume,it was impossible NOT to listen to what the girls were talking.Surround sound effect!!! So I lent my unfortunate ear to listen to them.And this is when I was led through various planets within 40 min.

It started with the planet selling chudidars.I found out that the light parrot green-white combination is the common favourite among them and most of them liked light-purple-yellow combination (Nokia-siemens colours !!) .And that CENTRAL mall on MG road has a mindblowing discount on some dress material (which was immaterial to me).

The cab driver shared a glace with me gave me a this-is-your-first-time-but-I-bear-it-everyday look.

My next destination was a planet of microwave ovens.Yes, one of the "girl" was married and was giving a handover session on how to cook using a oven.What temperature,how much time,the utensils to keep etc was explained in meticulous detail.Then came the problems of single moms followed by expert reviews on RNBDJ and Ghajini followed by faithfulness of dogs and nakhras of cats and of-course make-up.(I remembered that once my sister had pointed out that Deepika Padukone's mascara costs Rs:40000 but I had not bought her atleast a Rs:40 wala .I avoided sharing this important piece of information for the fear of having to continue on topics I have least knowledge).

By now my ears had started bleeding .There was more gyaan given in that 40 minutes which details I will spare.It was like the matrix fight where I was dodging the sound waves hurled at me simultaneously by 5 ruthless extra-terrestrials.

As I reached my much sought destination (place where I get down), the last part of the session was on questions asked by "innocent" children.Questions like why should we pray,is god male or female? etc.At that point of time I too had some "innocent" questions like "Is there a power called GOD? and if yes, then why is he not helping me to break free from the clutches of these aliens.
I got the answer.There is "God" because my stop had come and I could get down leaving back the poor soul (driver) to wage a lone battle .But since he is accustomed to this,I knew he would be fine.

But wait a second !!

One of the alien Radhika (Name changed to save my job as she in an HR) too got down there and we started to walk together.Now that she did not have anyone to share her chatar-patar, I was the soft target.We started talking about our work,timings,team and other general things. When she mentioned that she was pissed off by city traffic, I replied that it should not be a problem for an girl-majority cab and since she was an HR as well she would enjoy talking much more to which she shot back saying " Hey, I don't like gossipping or all that crap which we were discussing in our cab .It was only that I did not have an other work that I was forced to talk .Else I am a very silent person.And please do not generalize that all HR are talkative."

Seizing the opportunity, I told her how much I was irritated by their conversations.She said I was lucky as yesterday it was much worse.They had discussed about different types of foam used for bed,the better sweeper between Broom and vacuum cleaner etc...Yeah there is really a GOD who saved me again then,,and most probably he must be a male to understand my problem !!

Just another revelation, I thought, and reached home safely.

Now you may have a question as to what happens during the 6:15 cab.Here male-female ratio is almost 1:1 and topics are more general and most of the time its silence that does most of the talking.Yet,there are two Keralites who sometimes talk in some encrypted language named Malayalam and decrypting that I had found once that they were discussing about baby girl dresses.Not surprising though,considering that one is the mother of a baby girl and other one just adores girl children and dreams of dressing them like princess ....

Thus ended my enlightening trip to home that day.

*This is the explanation as to where I had encountered these type of aliens before (mentioned in second paragraph).It was in my previous company where a kitty party group would come to canteen daily (again one of them was an HR) and co-incidentally (?!) our tables would always be next to each other.We called them Page-3 personalities as it was fun to watch their extra animated actions as they spoke.The extra frills, the accent and the topics made them more funny.They would talk about how she was late for office as she had to feed her pet,how yoga classes helped to maintain her figure,how to get rid of dark circles etc..

But I have to admit that sometimes it is these kind of conversations that take the pressure off you and lighten your mood ...
By now the page-3 girls might be sneering ,"Ha ha ha..veeeeeeeery funny :-( "

So Great Going page-3 girls !!! Keep up the chatar-patar and keep finding new victims.


  1. Nelli Bachke Rahio ! Hope no damage ! :)

  2. ಹುಡುಗಿಯರೊಂದಿಗೆ ಯಾವಾಗಲು ಯಾಕೆ ಅರ್ಥವಿಲ್ಲದನ್ನೇ ಮಾತಾಡಬೇಕು ??
    ಯಾಕೆಂದರೆ ಅರ್ಥವಾಗುವಂತೆ ಅರ್ಥವಿರುವಂತೆ ಮಾತಾಡಿದರೆ ಅವರಿಗೆ ಅರ್ಥವಾಗುವುದೇ ಇಲ್ಲ !!!

  3. ha ha ha .... funny 3 pages of page - 3 girls !!

  4. Maga modle recession beka ivella ninge.. HR iga devaru thara :D

  5. Radhika (Name changed to save my job as she in an HR)......

    "Hey, I don't like gossipping or all that crap which we were discussing in our cab .It was only that I did not have an other work that I was forced to talk .Else I am a very silent person."

    Every gals favourite dialog...

    And we all know, wat it means....:)

  6. Great work It was very nice not to me but for my husband. He was laughing to the core.

  7. Great work It was very nice not to me but for my husband. He was laughing to the core.

  8. Nicely articulated and balanced dose of humour too.....keep going dude

  9. Hilarious! I find your descriptions - ear shatterring, surround,matrix - very interesting!

  10. Hey you didn't realize how God saved you again by giving such nice cab-mates for your regular 6.15 timing ;) And hey the girl dresses conversation was triggered by Naveen who bought dresses for his baby and the whole thing was in English!!! Were you coding that to malayalam and then de-coding again???

  11. haaa...haaa ... too good ..
    y dont u write something about Naveen n tannery road .!! ;)

  12. Poor baby u had to go through something so drastic ;-)

    This is a brilliantly written blog one of the best I have read!!!!

    Will look forward to read more from u :-))

  13. Being from the CuDo team, I would say this is an excellent, satirical piece of writing! Of course being a writer myself, I couldn't help but notice the odd typos here and there, but all in all I had a hearty laugh reading it! I can very well imagine myself being the alien creature described in your next article about your experiences in the cab! ;-) Keep writing!!!

  14. Read this blog after so many years and I am still laughing the same way as I did when I read this blog the first time... Love ur Blogs...