Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Teen Deewarein

Here is a simple compilation of 3 incidents that happened just some days before..Just thought of sharing with you..They are completey unrelated and not worth pondering..


Incident 1
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Last saturday I had been to my grandma's house for mourning.My grandpa had lived a full 83 lively years and had passed away.All our relatives were present and had a good(?!) time meeting others as it was a rare occasion for people meeting together..Just when everything was going right ,my elder cousin sister ,forgetting that it was a mourning exclaimed ," What a nice atmosphere...full of near and dear ones....I hope these type of occasion comes very often" Dont ask me what happened next.


Incident 2
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One of our collegue is a very short,skeletal like living thing.Inspite of his out-of-world looks,he always manages to hang out with girls :-)When enquired by many of them abt his skill,he asked us to assemble in a knowledge transfer (KT) session.
His teachings: 5 rules for success....

1. Smile 2-3 times to the girl U want to talk.

2. Introduce yourself or get introduced by a common friend

3. Slowly start talking to her casually.

4. Ask her abt her family..Most of the times they'll have sisters or brothers..Ask what they do..and whatever be the answer tell them "wow that course has good scope" OR "that company is very good".This will get her into a feel good state from where you can take off.....

5.Get to know her birthday and ask her for a treat.make your point clear that you are not coming to her all-friends party but need a seperate party and do not give up until you get one...And once that is done your job is over...Coding complete..Now you can call that method whenever needed!!!!
HOWZZAT ??What do you think? will it work?? I could not go beyond the first step :-(

Incident 3
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My watch-belt's pin was broken and I had went to get it mended( past tense of mend?) He took my watch ,took a look and pushed the pin inside the hole and handed back to me.I was surprised when he charged Rs 2 for this not-too-great work.

I said him:
1. That repair was negligable and I could only do it.

2. That I am a s/w engg and I know that there are 2 solns for any problem.Temporary and permanent.He had done the temporary one

3. He had charged too much for that soln


He replied:
1. If it was so negligable and if I could do it I would not bring it to him.

2. If the temp soln is as effective as the permanent soln ,then it is worth it.

3. He knew how much s/w engg charge for a small fix(temp or pemanent) and that I would be ready to pay him Rs 5 if he had went to his room,did the same thing and had told me that he had replaced it...

He told me that it willl be safe for atleast a month .I asked him what if it required another repair in an week.He said,Even after you sell the product You give them bugfixes,support them and then charge them right??????
I parted with my 2 Rs and walked without looking back .....

Monday, June 11, 2007

Return to mumbai

This was the mail I wrote to my friends when I returned after my holidays ...back to work


I take this opportunity to thank Konkan railways who helped me reach my grandmotherland in time and then the sarkari state buses and tempos who helped for my local travel to reach my motherland.I would also like to thank Vijayanand roadlines for their immense help(err...immense charging) to shift our things from madikeri to our very own pollution-cum-traffic city,the silly-con valley ,Bangalore.Last but not the least I wish to thank Udyan express who kicked me from my motherland to the same old unknown pardesiland....MUMBAI.It took just 24 hrs and I can say U it was the first continuous 24 hrs in my life I had never uttered a single word.One day of dead silence!!!(I never had to ..as my bag was filled with eatables and taranga (kannada)magazines).Finally I came back.Now for the reason for not mailing U for all these days.For the first few days after my return I was at the client side and then for the next few days fell ill..now I am recovering. When I had been at the client side( it was a subsidiary of Iflex),just when I was waiting at the reception for some one to meet at 7:30 PM some peon from inside knocked the door.He did not have an access card.Usually the reception room will have a switch from outside just near the door fot the receptionist to open the door without any card.I located that switch.It was just beside the door.Inorder to help him I just went and pressed the switch........................................................................... and BHAM.....the power in the whole office went down.Everyone ran helter kelter as they had many pages open and could not afford to shut down.Some panicked as this meant they could not meet the dead line.But luckily a security guard had seen me do that misdeed.He immediately went inside ,did the neccessary steps(which included telling all members the reason for the power cut).When the power came back after 3 min I could see the whole office glaring at me angrily.The security man told that I was lucky as the CEO was not there who left early that day due to heavy rains.,else he would send an official warning to POLARIS....Thank god!!!!!!!!!!Thanks for the rains...heavy rains!! Never again will I go to that office again!!
As for these days mumbai is getting thrashed by heavy rains....but situation is not sooo worse as hyped by the media...But ...ya it is bad.And thanks to these rains ...on monday they left us at 4:00pm ( forced us to leave),tuesday at 2:00 pm and wednesday at 5:00 pm.
Well employees were charged on tuesday due to 2 reasons...one early leave and two: match b/n germany and italy.Even in the bus the last seats were filled with football fanatics.When I went to occupy the last seat ,..I was thrown a question....Germany or Italy.....?
Being a kind of person I am ,I immediately replied "INDIA"....and got severly thrashed from both team supporters which I could have avoided if I would select only one team in which case I would get beaten by only one team...

Last night I saw the movie "KRRISH".Whatever the public says,I liked the move a lot.Except for a few childish silly acts the rest of the movie is too good.The things l liked about the movie are:1) Wonderful ,spectacular locations.2)Priyanka chopra and last and the best3) complete Hritik...Action,dance ,looks and the way he has carried the film(except for his clothings in the first half which was very bad).

A short sweet trip to Duisburg

Well friends, I am back after a small trip to Duisburg, Germany and am overwhelmed by the fact that many mailed me asking for a detailed letter...(And I was thinking you all hated it.. :-))So here is a compilation of my experiences in germany..This time it will not be a story telling but a compilation of small incidents which made a mark in my mind so that I could remember them and mail you back.

News of going to Germany: I am a pessimistic fellow according to others (a different type...I keep hope in my heart but don’t show that to others).So the first time when my PM told me abt my trip to Germany, everyone noticed that I was not so jubiliant. I showed no feelings.I just smiled and said thanks.Much of this was b'cos I knew we can’t believe any fact until it actually happens and I wasn't 100% sure that my company would send me there and there was all possibility of cancellation.So I did not tell anyone abt it.Even to my parents I told may be I will be going but don't keep any hopes.But as days progressed, my hopes were turning into reality....
I WAS STARTING TO BELIEVE THAT ONE OF MY LIFE'S MAJOR DREAM IS GOING TO BE TRUE...Eventhough it was for 15 days, the feeling of just going to another continent made me ecstatic.It was also due to the fact that no one from my family had crossed INDIAN BORDER....!!!!

A dream come true: Finally the d-day came.I had my tickets,knew abt the weather there,knew what exactly I should be doing at airport,had all my clothings to face the dreaded cold weather there.It was time to go to a place where I knew no one...all alone.I got to the airport exactly 3 hrs earlier and then got on to the plane and off I flew.............

Emirates: I had always heard that emirates was one of the best flights in the world and now I knew why...Wonderful seats, huge capacity, gorgeous air-hostess and very good food (?!!).All was there.But the fact I liked the most was the provision of personal TV in the plane, Attached at the back of my front seat was a small TV and its remote in my hand.To watch was a huge list of programmes ranging from Sports, films, plays and not to miss the bollywood masala.There was much more ...You could call any phone using that remote (the other side had a Phone), send sms, and also play games!!!! I wanted to play some games but since everyone else was watching movies, I felt it will be childish if I play Games...So instead preferred watching film DOR & Pyaar Ke Side Effects (Hindi)...I kept wondering at the technology which lets a person to watch a Movie at 40000ft above the earth traveling at that speed...more than 500 miles per hour!!!
And to add to all this excitement, there was a camera in front of and below the plane and the pictures were relayed to us in real time, so during fly off
and landing, U could see what the pilot could see in front and then look below!!!
As for the food can you guess what I got Upma+vada+idli+palak+ice Pepsi....Wine and other drinks were also there but...
So the overall experience was awesome...

Dubai airport: Nothing special to tell here as I waited patiently at one place for my connecting flight. Only thing that caught my eye was that there was a strip, where you could stand and it would leave you to the other end (similar to the escalator, but here it was completely horizontal).So ppl here were too lazy even to walk. Also there was a place where they had placed systems with internet for free!!

Dubai-Dusseldorf: The same emirates experience, but the only diff was that once I started to watch films as usual (I was a matured experienced flyer by now)....hey but wait a min ..whats this everywhere I see ppl are playing games..I rubbed my eyes in disbelief. But to my surprise everyone were playing games..and then me too!!!!!!! The person next to me was also from India and had ordered an "HINDU" meal and I had ordered veg meal. TO his dismay, that "HINDU" meal was actually a meal which had prawns, chicken and eggs!! He was shocked, and the airhostess was helpless as there was no replacement for him. But coming form a land of superheros,as usual, I came to his rescue. I asked to the hostess to exchange our meals had saved him from impending hunger.. Nelli ki jai ho...( Actually just before that I was cursing my travel agent from Polaris to have booked a veg meal for me
:-)) everything happens for good only!!And this happened for very good as the airhostess could not stop praising me for my "HEROIC" act !! over and
over again!!

Dusseldorf:Finally I landed,in an unknown area, another continent, strangers everywhere talking in some strange language. The sudden rush of cold air outside the airport reminded me that I had finally arrived!!.Then suddenly a scary thought struck me. It was already 9:00 in the night and I was here with only
the hotel address in my hand...No contact nos!!! I feared at the thought of not finding the hotel and getting taken for a ride which I literally had to be taken via taxi to duisburg.But the fear all ceased when a friendly driver too me to my hotel 20-25 min far from the airport.(Note that he was driving at 120 km/hr which seemed common there!!) .Call it an Indian effect in foreign land..I had already started multiplying everything with 57)...1Euro=approx 57 INR !!

Mercure hotel:Without any problem I reached the hotel, got my key( it was a credit card like thing which you had to swipe through he door to get it open),rushed to my room and slept peacefully....hoping for a nice stay for the remaining days.

The story ends here and incidents start:

Alms for the poor(?!!): While strolling around, a young girl came towards me, she was wearing a red T-shirt and a pair of jeans ,drinking coca -cola. As she approached me she opened her palms and said "Alms for the poor”. I was shocked!! She did not look like a beggar from any angle. She repeated "Alms for the poor"...I looked at her again... and asked in a confused look ...POOOR(!!?) .She suddenly changed her tone ,shouted at me in German and went away angrily
leaving me confused in the middle of the street!!

Chips: We felt the need for some spicy snack just to beat the hot weather and in the way found out an Asian market. We went inside it to see all types of
"INDIAN" things available ranging from basmati rice,chilli powder to the spices. We bought a packet of chips and came back to our room. Getting ready for some yummy snacks we put the chips in our mouth only to note that it was made of shrimps!!!(shrimps are small, swimming, decapod crustaceans similar to prawns--basically a sea food) .It was the first non-vegetarian chips I have ever had in my life !!!.

Cycles: Here there is a separate track for cyclists.Ppl from all walks of life don’t hesitate to ride cycles. The track comes b/n road and footpath and ppl can walk on them only when there are no cyclists around...

Traffic followers: The ppl here are terrific traffic followers. There used to be times when we are standing near the circle with no vehicle in sight from any road far far away and still no one used to cross the road until the green light used to glow. The same rules applied to cyclists. This attitude ,eventhough good would virtually torture me as it brought out my animal instincts of Mumbai and b'lore to cross the empty road(or eventhough it was busy!!).I used to keep thinking, if I had crossed then I would reach my office by now ,etc!!But I will have to frankly tell you I loved following traffic here and planned to follow it here too, but to my horror the traffic police itself shouted at me to cross the road when there were no vehicles as he thought ppl like me create a crowd by not moving when there were no vehicles!!

Television: Only 15 channels used to be aired and all those in German !.So I used to blindly watch them for their actions. What else could I do !!) They had a book which had program timetable for the whole week and for over 140 channels. When enquired I came to know that they were pay channels and if I was ready to pay then I could watch them. The surprising fact was that the TV itself had the facility of shouting how much was due from my side for watching xtra channels. though I did not pay , I often saw the bill to see that unknowingly I might not have been watching anything thats payable!!.The TV had many more functions too. It had inbuilt videogame and chatting services with other television owners! Moreover even sms could be sent through them. Only thing I noticed was shilpa shettys face shown repeatedly on television.

Burger: Nothing much to say...as expected I got a chicken burger when I asked for a veg burger :-(

Breakfast: The breakfast facility of the hotel was too good. It was a buffet ranging from all types of burgers, salad, yogurt, bacons, sausages, eggs, fruits,vegetables,dry fruits,diff types of butter,diff types of jams, black tea, coffee, juices etc...and moreover that was free as it was included in the hotel rent itself!! So as one should always do I literally ate like a king those 15 days, eventhough I get to eat 2 idlis in India!!

Chocolates:The office had a seperate corner for chocolates. The rules were simple."Feel free to pick up any chocolate you want.It is for free!! .....But since this is not funded by the company put any amt of money in the yellow box and see to that this corner never gets empty.” I found ppl actually putting money and taking it. BUT NOT ME ;-)

Cyclone: On the 10th day I had been there, there was a news that a hurricane would hit the city and so we should leave the office early. But as we all know s/w engg don’t fear anything and so everyone stayed in office ....working!! until the hurricane actually hit. The power went suddenly., and surprise surprise. there was no UPS in the office and all the systems shut down suddenly!! The reason: The city had not lost the power and thus they did not invest in UPS !!! Also since the city had lost the power for the first time everyone wanted a snap of electricity less city and It was me who had the camera! Also it was the first time in their history that the railways had stopped completely

Toooo late!!:The shopping area was quite far away and we had to roam for abt 20 min.So we normally would not go out after returning form office. Just 1 day
before I made my return trip, I tried to explore the hotel and found out that we had a shortcut to the shopping street thru the hotel itself which took
no more than 2 min!! MORAL OF THE STORY?? First find your fault before finding others fault!!!
Then one fine day ..it was all over, I finished my work successfully, and so had to leave on the fixed date itself. So came back via the same
way....Duisburg-->Dubai(Little shopping)--> Mumbai!!! :-( And then it took so may days to mail you my experiences!!!

Thursday, June 7, 2007