Metamorphosis

“Hello Praveen”

“Hi, May I know who is this?”

“Guess”

Not that I am Sherlock Holmes, but I am good at recognizing voices. But this did not sound familiar.

“I’m sorry .I’m not able to “

“S.P Balasubramanian, 6 AM cricket. Does it ring a bell?”

“Hey, KirikMama is this you?? Man it’s been a long long time since we met. I guess we never met after school right??”

KirikMama was my classmate during high school. It had been 10 years since we last saw each other.

“Yep KirikMama at your service”

# Usual catching up of 10 years of when, where, how, why, what and how #

“So Mr. KirikMama what are you doing for a living now?”

“Guess”

Now here was a person who was paid for guessing( Guessing when will the feature might get completed, Guessing who might take leave this month, guessing what might be the root cause of the issue etc.So I was not accustomed to free guessing.

“I’m sorry .I’m not able to “

“I am no more KirikMama . I am Sir KirikMama . I am a lecturer at St. Ignatius College“

(Irrelevant sidetrack: In my native place the college named Saint. Ignatius had become Sant Vignesh in the local dialect .So much for religious harmony. Anyways back to the story…)

“WHAT!!! You?? Lecturer??”

I could not believe my own ears!!! (Not that I believe others ears).

And this took me to the flashback 14 years ago.

(For the cinematic effect, the flashback is in black and white)

It was Kannada period. Aadhishankar Sir (name retained as he would not read my blog anyways) was furious.

“Who is KirikMama ??”

Stunned silence. No one had seen Aadhishankar Sir so angry.

A confident student dared to ask ”Why sir?”

“What does that KirikMama think of himself? Does he think I am a fool?

He has written a Kannada song within the answer for that essay type question. Does he think I am blind? Who is he? I swear I will kill him now”

Yes, many had dared to write irrelevant stories in Social Science long answers and got away but this was in Kannada paper. That too a famous song. A record in school history. The whole class started murmuring.

“He is absent saar”, Came a voice from a student.

And that student was KirikMama himself!!!

There was hushed silence .No one dared to speak.

“He will come tomorrow. Give his answer sheet. I will give it to him.”

Now if there is no bug in your module, what will you fix?

Now when your enemy is not in front of you, whom will you kill.

Aadhishankar Sir calmed down, gave the answer sheet to KirikMama and said

“Let me know tomorrow who KirikMama is. I will teach him a lesson”

“Sure saar”

And this is how the second great escape in the history of mankind was achieved. (The first one was achieved by Houdini though).

Nothing happened next day. Aadhishankar Sir had done some background check and found out that KirikMama was the one who had fooled him and took his own paper safely. Now that there was no proof he had done some mistake, he could not be taken to the principal. Hence KirikMama was safe forever.

Aadhishankar Sir came to the class and said, “This guy has guts and is clever. He will surely come up in life. Also I am excusing you because that song you wrote in that answer was sung by my favorite singer: S P Balasubramanian “

Wow I thought .Is it this prankster who had become a lecturer? I wondered who would dare to create mischief in his class. He had not spared his PT master when he was young.

I remember once he was punished by the PT master for not polishing his white canvas shoes. He was very angry because all these years he was not punished for having similar “whiteness” in his shoes, but today when he had taken extra care to rub a white chalk on the shoes to make it extra white, he was caught.

He let off the blow of both the tires of PT masters moped “Luna”.

Not knowing who the culprit was and no way to find out, he got the air filled in a neighboring garage and went home.

Now how could a teacher who punished him for “extra white” shoes be let off so easily.

The next day KirikMama actually brought a knife and cut both the tires at various places.

The revenge was not exactly “school level” though but then he was happy and did not get caught.

And now he is a lecturer?? Unbelievable.

Once when a floppy disk was lost/stolen from our school lab, the teacher there “NIIT Nitin”, addressed the entire class telling the great loss school had occurred as the Floppy disk was extremely costly.

He even told that he would have to sell his golden ring to make up for the loss.

That evening, on our way home, KirikMama found a broken floppy disk.

Guess what did he do?? . (You can guess for free. This is a flashback and we never used to get paid for guessing then)

No. Neither did he ignore that, nor did he take it to NIIT Nitin.

He instead took it to a Jewelry store and tried to sell it off!!

If not for a whole golden ring, at least for a part of it.

All he got was a chocolate and Gyaan and that the disk was worth nothing.

And now he is a lecturer who will shape the future of a portion of our generation. I tremble at the thought of it.

I pitied on the Director of the college who had hired him. This reminded me of his another clash with the headmistress of the school itself.

It was Jan 11 1998. (9th standard)

“Hey Agnivesh, I am fed up with life. I wrote “I love you” 500 times in a book and she still does not love me.

I want to die. Keep these audio cassettes for yourself as I might not require it anymore after my death”

Agnivesh humbly and happily accepted it.

Jan 12 1998

“Hey Agnivesh, Remember that audio cassettes I gave you. Please return it to me. I am not going to die now. We are going for a family trip to Mysore tomorrow. Will think about dying after that.”

In an ideal world, Agnivesh would have returned it.

But this is Ghor Kaliyug.

Agnivesh refused to give it as it was his now and he could decide what to do with that.

Next scene:

Dirty uniform. Agnivesh’s torn shirt. Parent-Teacher meeting.

Jan 13, 1998

1 hour gyaan followed by a “I am sorry, Shake hand” session followed by an huge homework followed by seething anger.

In an ideal world, KirikMama would be waiting for an opportunity to exact revenge on Agnivesh.

But this is the land of Gandhi.

KirikMama and Agnivesh were seen eating away softee ice-cream which ended with KirikMama getting to know the address of the headmistress house.

Jan 14, 1998

Whoosh….

Sound of stone flying followed by the glass breaking sound.

Mrs. Oditi, Head mistress of Arunima high school comes out running.

In an ideal world, KirikMama would be seen running on some cross road.

But this is the land of Satyavaadi Raja Harishchandra

KirikMama was at the gate. Smiling

He looks at the madam and says

”Someone threw a stone and ran away in that direction. His uniform tells me he is from the Vipanchi High school.But today is festival day.So do not waste your time thinking about it too much.

Happy Sankranthi” .Telling this he offers her a plate of Yellu Bella and Kabbu, enjoys a nice tea at her house and lives ….

….Lives to become a lecturer one day.

Weird but true. That little Prankster is now the lighthouse to many students.

I am sure none of them can even think of any mischief in his class and that this reformed being will make a great teacher!!!!

The twists of life are indeed interesting.