Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Unity in diversity

“Who said India is a secular country. Unity in diversity is nonsense. Everyone is fighting for their own religion. Mahatma Gandhi used to say “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” Only God can save our country.”- Mom was murmuring in the kitchen

Doesn’t the name Gurjar Singh ring any bells? Well, why would it? Its not that I am very famous not it has any inbuilt sound making mechanism. I just tried to get some limelight associating myself with the Gujjar agitation sometime back just because my name “sounds” similar to Gujjar. Coming back to me, even though I was raised by the Hindu community and everyone in my family wears the saffron colored robes, I was never forced to wear one. I liked the colour and was proud that its one of the colours of our national flag and that’s the only reason I wore them. . I was a down to earth person. Infact I can better it by saying I was more under-the-earth person. I was in Malleshwaram the day this incident took place. And it was on that unfortunate day I met my other friends.

Being born in the coastal area of Karnataka, I was raised as a proud white guy. My father being a Christian had nothing to do with me having a special liking for wearing sparkling white clothes and green cap. I always felt the same pride as an Aussie would, wearing the baggy green cap and playing in the national test team. I don’t even remember why I was named Raphanus but I liked it though. I, along with my friends and relatives had a great time growing up in this country. Just like my friend Gurjar Singh, I too was a down to earth person. Just 2 days back we had come to Bangalore. Since my guardian was not quite rich, we had to come in a lorry of one of his friends. It was here I met my friends Gurjar Singh and …

The other friend Raphanus met was Mr. Bean and that’s me. Though I have a complicated name, due to my appearance people like to call me Mr. Bean. I was OK with that, but my Islamic Baba was not. He felt that Mr. Bean was not from his religion. It was last night when I was creeping over the police station wall that I was pulled out and brought to Malleshwaram and that’s where I met U-know-who-all.

And then it happened.

Just as we were discussing about the bad state of our country under the shade of some shop , a person came on a vehicle , talked to the shop keeper, supposedly bribed him and then all of a sudden put us and some of our relatives on his vehicle and …

It was pitch dark inside and we are not sure where we were being taken. We not only prayed to our respective God but for the first time prayed to each others too.

“Who said India is a secular country. Unity in diversity is nonsense. Everyone is fighting for their own religion. Mahatma Gandhi used to say “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” Only God can save our country.”- Mom was murmuring in the kitchen. Saying this she put chopped carrots ,radish, and beans to the vessel to prepare a mouth watering curry. At least here Unity in diversity made sense.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Bhavnaawonko samjho

This is a story of how I saved very precious internet bandwidth, and, more importantly ,my precious time.

In the earlier scenario (the one which wasted a lot of both bandwidth and time), the google chat goes as follows :)

Mowgli: Abey, marriage photo dekha hai maine!
Praveen: Kiska?
Mowgli: Mujhe kya pata?
Praveen: ??
Mowgli: Woh chod. Wo ladki kaun hai tere baaju mein?
Praveen: Woh?? My ex-team mate's friend.
Mowgli: What’s her name?
Praveen: Abhistashobita Prasannakshi
Mowgli: Nice name
Praveen: Yes
Mowgli: She is pretty too.
Praveen: Yes
Mowgli: Works in your team?
Praveen: No
Mowgli: Your company?
Praveen: Yes
Mowgli: Have you talked to her?
Praveen: No.
Mowgli: Why not?
Praveen: Coz I don’t know her.
Mowgli: But does your colleague know her?
Praveen: Yes
Mowgli: Then?
Praveen: She knows her,I dont. Not in my team. Not on my floor. Not in my cab, and many more nots…
Mowgli: Single?
Praveen: Who? Me?
Mowgli: Grr
Praveen: Oh she? No, she's married.
Mowgli: Oh!
Praveen: ??
Mowgli: Nothing...wazzup man what else?


(Characters spent on this chat : 836 )

Then came another Yamla Pagla Deewana.
This time, I was ready to save the world from WWW (World Wide Wait) by wasting more internet space.

Junglee: Who is the girl standing next to you?
Junglee: In the marriage photo
Praveen: Wife of the person standing by her on the other side:)
Junglee: Oops !! Case closed. Don’t show him this message.
Junglee: status changed: In search of some other one than the one planned yesterday !!!
(Characters spent on this chat : 294 )

Saved: 542 chars of space !!!

Moral of the story : Bhavnaawonko samjho.Know thy friends !!!


(Predicting tommorrow's chat)
KirikMama : Maga ...read that Bhavnaawonko samjho.. yaaro aa bhaavna?? E&C alli odtidlalva avla?